It’s been a minute since I’ve penned a few of my bold words up in here, but today I felt like expressing my thoughts, emotions and reasonings. It’s long ass f.ck so deal.
48 and activated
Sept.27 I grabbed my pearl rosaries, clutching them so tight as I prayed and thanked GOD for another year of good health, success and wealth. After feeling God’s blessings I started getting ready for my birthday brunch, an intimate outing with my good friend whose made it, his business to proceed with this ritual 4 years later. (he better not stop now. ha!) cause I’m forever grateful for his heart. So we get to B Bar & Grill, this dope eatery in Soho and I already spotted where I want to sit, eat and talk. I already had envisioned the scenery, garden, sunny skies and gods light while enjoying that bold coffee that I’m so addicted to. After brunch, I wasn’t ready to leave, you see I had a motive, more like a mission to get some answers. Lately, I’ve been feeling still, (must be god), overpowered (the devil) and confused (mind f.ck). So I told him lets finish our drinks over there, motioning to the blue sofa in the corner. I got very comfortable as I needed clarity, because this was the moment, to take advantage of someone, who not only do I have respect for, but know will tell me the bold truth even if it hurts to the core.
Act Like We Not Friends, What Do You See When You Look At Me ?
Confused by the question, I clarified it by explaining it’s part of my research to figure myself out and I needed some solid answers with a whole lot of bold truth and knew he was the right person to deliver it. I looked him straight in his eyes and told him “I don’t give a f.ck if you make me cry on my birthday, I need to know why I’m feeling the way I do!.” He takes a sip of his white wine and say’s “I see you as a powerful woman, with not only connections, but a wide reach.” I see people trying to work with you, but because of your affiliations, they stay away and just watch from afar. awww. he then proceeds, “You have to STOP! caring so much, you care too dam much, about people who don’t even support your efforts for them, wow (eye opener), and also please, “STOP! r e l a p s i n g. explain – he says, “you start off on the right path, working major projects with high profiled clients, then for some reason you relapse and start hustlin’ backwards.”. That hit hard, because he was so right, and that’s what I been feeling, but couldn’t pin point it. after a quick pause on my behalf, I explained to him my position, I’m the breadwinner , so when my finances start depleting I go straight into “beast mode” and disregard my strength, worth and years of cultivated relationships, which I must learn, to protect and know they are not for everybody, (biggest mistake, I’ve done, as I always wanted everyone to win), but they didn’t have the same intentions for me. Back to the ‘beast mode’ motivation, so what ends up happening is I take on projects with small budgets which is never a wise business move, from my part because I’m so used to dealing with big projects and profit sharing that if I try to apply the same strategic moves, it fails and now I’m feeling defeated and in-secured about who I am. Questioning if I’m still built for this, lord help me. Because I know who the f.ck I am, and what I’m capable of, but I allowed my heart to make decisions which I knew would not work, but at that moment I needed that extra cash, so I settled (another wrong move). I was inpatient so took projects, that I knew needed more than just a buzz, it needed a big budget, because their expectations and vision was big, but I told them “I got you” knowing dam well it was impossible. All I kept saying to myself, was my heart, my fukn heart.. I must stop, but the need to help people was infectious! For years I’ve been hurting and hindering my own success and without the proper financial guidance and mentorship, saving for a bad day was a taboo, because I was blinded by the lavish lifestyle.
But after careful consideration and strategy discussion on what needs to be done next, I left with a light heart and a smile. I been knowing my strength, I been know my weakness, but I lacked in knowing whose their for my success and downfall. I’m Woke!
What Makes 36 Chambers Different from Wu-Wear?
Someone told me, that Wu Tang was my omen. confused and determined to understand what this white young boy was telling me, I asked him what do you mean?, he said well you just said every time you walk into a venue, or a meeting you hear Wutang playing, yea and he said well that means, you must of impacted them. oh, ok that was a relief, cause my spiritual side was about to light a million candles, incense and take a few cleansing baths (which I already do, ha). Ok so, that all makes sense now, because I hold the brand dear to my heart, as I credit Power the founder of WuWear for my status in this industry.
So fast forward to the stagnation and confusion, why this became such a long ass story, but if you have been reading to this point, don’t stop now, as I never came here to be your brand strategist and act like I’m Betty the builder your favorite brand agent. I’m here to preach the ghetto bible of hustling’ corporate america and the fuck shit that comes with it. I’m here to share my personal knowledge and journey (which I’m turning into a book, expect Jan 2018, inshallah). I hope you take some pieces of my journey, and what it comes with, the glory the bitchassness and rawness, and apply only the jewels. So now that I got that out the way, I’m ashamed to say I have been living in the past for years. I expected so much from people, I felt I deserved, but now I know, no one owes you shit! expect nothing and appreciate everything.
“My Loyalty Interrupted My Royalties”
So here we are in the year of the millennial’s, the moment where, the blueprint, is being duplicated and celebrated, but the OG’s are feeling some sort of way, at least the ones I come across. It’s been rough for the OG’s, limited work followed by unavailable resources. Forget that we have years in this shit, to the brands, we are not the influencers they’re interested in, they yearning for that new young blood, even if some lack knowledge, experience and hustle. There’s an epidermic going around in the industry, we are losing a few good men to depression, stress and it doesn’t feel good. The need to stay relevant has taken a huge toll, they’ve felt lost and incompetent of keeping up, so the only thing to do is give up. But that’s never the answer. At one point, I felt the same but because I have that hustle mentality and a hustler for a mentor, I kept pushing, creating, collaborating and cultivating, making sure I remained relevant throughout the years, (it hasn’t been easy at all) even If I was being overlook by the high profile brands, I was still making money for established artist and re-branding them creating a lifestyle for their social digital presence. This is where WuWear & RZA’s 36 chamber come in. The interview that inspired this post. Even though I’m not directly working with the brand on their new development, I still share opinions with Power and he makes it his business to HIRE my agency for brand consulting and direction, so the involvement is still there, just in a partnership kind of way, which is valuable. My agency Reveal is responsible for creating the WULIFE platform for the core Wu fans through the Wu Life instagram which has 20k followers to date and rising. The agency has also been instrumental in a few installations and projects.
The law of success says “Opportunties in life come by creation, not by chance. Reasons why I’m constantly reminded of my past success with the Wu Brand. I’ve learned to embrace it, not live in it. The creation I did 20 years ago with the creative direction of the Wu Wear AD above just clarifies this statement.
Here’s a golden jewel I will leave you with. What company you know, created a company within a company, while still being employed and making them your first clients – fast forward 20 years later an they still are clients?. thats’s what I’ve been trying to REVEAL. Ha listen I’m ready for speaking panels and shit let me tell you how to stay relevant 20 years later and still have the same clients while swimming in a pool full of sharks and wolves, while you leading the pack!
So here’s the raw truth, my loyalty interrupted my royalties. I was so loyal to Wu Wear, that when I was approached by other brands and PR firms to take my skills to their companies and climb the corporate ladder, I declined! because I was so loyal to Power. ( I don’t regret it at all, but I should of been smarter and made strategic moves) But that’s in the past, a lesson learned which turned into a purposeful passion.
A boricua in the game of life (chess)….